In the 1980’s Paul Simon wrote the song “fifty ways to leave your lover”.

Every year when we are bear watching and we see the powerful Kodiak bears catch all those fish, this song goes round in my head.  Paul Simon only described a few ways of ending a relationship. In this report we will let you see up to 15 different ways how a bear catches his fish. The bear is, as far as that’s concerned, more creative than Paul Simon. Some of them really deserve the jackpot.

The jackpot is always there for the Kodiak bears. The immense amount of fish makes this look like the land of plenty. And by the time August arrives, most of these bears have already turned into extremely large obese bears. With their plump shaped bear bellies; they would never have won a beauty contest, but rather an Obese award.

But, in spite of their size they never seem to have enough to eat. As soon as they are in the water, they look around ravenously and their body twitches. It’s like a sort of hunger hick. Mostly it only lasts for a few minutes.  Then it registers and the bear goes off to claim his share of the salmon parade. Each bore, female or cub has their own method of catching fish. Some bears have developed a terrific style all of their own. Several of them don’t even have to make the effort. Just like Happy Harry they hover round in the river, stick their head in the water, open their mouth to let the water flow in and low and behold a fish just happens to swim right in between their teeth.

Most of them have to work hard at it. Quickly chasing the fish that is desperately trying so hard to avoid the bear. A freebie both above and under the water. A lot of times the fish are lucky to escape, but because there are so many at the same time, there is always one that gets caught.

There are also smart bears and bear cubs that eat the leftovers, or the ones that beg by their mother for a tasty piece. You also have the ones who spend the whole time whining with an unbearably piteous growl. Mostly this whining helps so they still end up with enough food. They will never learn to fish. You also have hilarious hauls, for example, bears making gurgling noises while drifting on the water, hiding behind stones, throwing stones, the anglers and the tapeworm baiters.

We have put together a list with subtitles. We wish you lots of pleasurable viewing with a laugh.

Even denken, Hoe vang ik ook weer een vis?

De snelle jagers rennen er op los vaak tevergeefs.

Al zijn de vissen nog zo snel; de jager overwint hem wel

Droog staan en dan maar uitzoeken tot ze vlak voor je neus komen

Ze zijn voor het grijpen. Een keuze is moeilijk. Hoeveel zijn er de klos?

Of: schuilen achter een steen totdat de vis in je mond zwemt.

Je kan ook je kop in het water steken en dan wachten tot de vis erin zwemt

Lekkerder is natuurlijk op je rug liggen en dat ze dan op je buik springen

Mam ik wil lekkere vis. Hoor je? Een easy way, want mam doet de rest

Een nieuwe techniek: stenen gooien op de kop van de vis. Maar waar is de vis nou?

Nee een hengel is beter, alleen er moet nog een touwtje aan

Gebruik je lintworm als hengel. Zalmen zijn gek op wormen en je hebt zo beet.

Maar het mooiste is toch: een vis van je moeder stelen en daarna lekker spelen

Het is eenvoudig vissen bij de waterval; maar nou springen er wel vijf tegelijk

Kijk zo doe je het. Ja slaat met je poot de vis in je mond. Let op zoon!

Als toetje, vissen in een bubbelbad!

(click on the above photo(s) to see what other ways there are to catch a fish)

Rika en Harry